Please Keep Sending Me Your Homophobic Harassment

It’s Delightful, and Here’s Why

The Flag

My college lowered its flag to half-staff to honor Charlie Kirk.

Why? Great question.

Indeed, as referenced in my college’s announcement, there was a presidential proclamation stating:

I hereby order that the flag of the United States shall be flown at half-staff at the White House and upon all public buildings and grounds, at all military posts and naval stations, and on all naval vessels of the Federal Government in the District of Columbia and throughout the United States and its Territories and possessions until sunset, September 14, 2025. I also direct that the flag shall be flown at half-staff for the same length of time at all United States embassies, legations, consular offices, and other facilities abroad, including all military facilities and naval vessels and stations.

The Massachusetts order that followed stated:

Please be advised that, in accordance with a Presidential Proclamation marking the death of Charlie Kirk, Governor Maura T. Healey has ordered the United States of America flag and the Commonwealth of Massachusetts flag be lowered to half-staff at all state buildings beginning immediately today, until sunset on September 14, 2025.

This observance shall be concurrent with the ongoing half-staff display of the United States of America flag and Commonwealth of Massachusetts flag.

This gubernatorial order applies to:

1. The main or administration building of each public institution of the Commonwealth, e.g. town and city halls

2. Other state-owned or state-controlled buildings

3. All state military installations

These orders only apply to public buildings. My institution is private, which means our decision was voluntary.

We did not have to honor Charlie Kirk. We chose to.

Who Charlie Kirk Was

Charlie Kirk was assassinated.

He was the founder of conservative group Turning Point USA. He also created the Professor Watchlist, a website that publicly names faculty it accuses of “discriminating against conservative students” and “advancing leftist propaganda,” effectively painting targets on them. An American Association of University Professors memo warns the Watchlist is “a real and serious threat to academic freedom and the safety of our faculty,” documenting how it enables stalking and cyberbullying, has led to threats of physical violence—including sexual assault—and disproportionately targets faculty of color.

Charlie Kirk’s career was, in my opinion, built on punching down. He targeted queer people, immigrants, and communities of color, while simultaneously glorifying unfettered access to guns — a toxic combination that made his rhetoric both discriminatory and dangerous.

Charlie Kirk on Gay People

I am extremely and unapologetically gay. Born in the 1970s, I came of age in the 80s and 90s and came out in 1993. I’ve spent the better part of my 51 years surrounded by rhetoric like Charlie Kirk’s. Here are a few things he thought about me and my community.

• “Pride is a sin.” [Tweeted on June 1, 2023, the first day of Pride Month.]

• “Gay people… want to corrupt your children.” [Media Matters]
• “Monogamous heterosexual marriage should be a prerequisite to adoption.” [Media Matters]
• “Groomers can’t reproduce, so instead they recruit… They go serve on school boards. And they go do drag queens. And they do all this other sort of disgusting nauseating stuff.” [Media Matters]
• Leviticus 20:13 — a verse prescribing death for homosexuality — is “God’s perfect law when it comes to sexual matters.” [The Independent]
• “…Marriage is one man one woman.” (X/Twitter)

• “I don’t agree with that lifestyle.” [Said to a gay student, The Independent]
• Heterosexual marraige is god’s fixed “order.” [American Mind]
• Pride Month is “cultural tyranny” and we should “get rid of it altogether.” [Said by a speaker on his show, Media Matters]

This is who we voluntarily lowered our flag for.

Speaking Out

I wrote about lowering the flag in honor of Charlie Kirk on YikYak, an anonymous, location-based social app. At my institution, anyone with a school email can join.

I could have stayed anonymous, but I didn’t. I put my name on it. Because accountability matters to me.

And sure, the responses came. Some supportive. Some snide. A few weird photos pretending to be me. Standard internet bingo card.

I’ll confess that I don’t even understand that last one, but I assume it’s supposed to be mean? Anyway…

My Resume of Harassment

Look, I’ve been gay since long before most people on my campus were born. My highlight reel of getting bad treatment and being harassed is, at this point, impressive. Here’s a subset:

• Called “faggot” too many times to count, especially while walking with my husband.
• Had a job offer rescinded when they found out I was gay.
• Wasn’t allowed to get married for a long time, then got married, then was un-married by the courts against my will.
• Been told I should die of AIDS.
• Received anonymous slurs and threats… also too many times to count.
• Received death threats, including one referring to my family members by name and stating we should be tied to the back of a car and dragged around town until we were dead.
• Lived through a stalker so intense the FBI got involved.

At this point, it’s pretty hard for individuals to shock me. Or, if I am honest, make me feel much of anything. I have no flesh left. Just scar tissue.

You Should Target Me

Really. Because I can absolutely take it. I’m a cis white man. I have job security. I’m financially stable. I’ve got resources and resilience.

So if you’re itching to send homophobic harassment? Please, by all means, send it my way.

Seriously. Fill my inbox. Impersonate me. Spread rumors. Maybe a nice office defacement or home property stalking or tire slashing? (Kidding, I am not condoning crime, even though some of you will do it.) Knock yourselves out.

Full Disclosure

Just so you know, though:

• I know how to get social media posts removed when they violate community standards.
• I have night-vision cameras all over my property.
• I have such an elaborate system of email filters that your messages problably won’t even make their way to me.
• I know how to track IP addresses — legally — in ways you probably don’t.
• I study the criminal legal system FOR MY JOB and as problematic as that system is, I’m very glad to use it—and know HOW to use it—when people target minoritized/marginalized individuals.
• I’m upper-middle-class enough that I’m connected to lots of fancy lawyers who know how to subpoena.
• And yes, thanks to past threats, I‘ve got a guy at the FBI on speed dial. Even in Trump’s regime, most field agents are good people who want to protect everyday people.

I have the time and the stubbornness to pursue harassers for as long as it takes and I find it a delightful hobby to have them experience the consequences of their actions.

And since clarity matters: when I talk about pursuing harassers, I don’t mean the anonymous student posters above. As a professor, I hold power in that relationship, so students get special dispensation. Still, though, if they insist on venting, I’d much rather they aim it at me than at their more vulnerable queer or trans classmates. For anyone and everyone else — whether it’s petty impersonations, casual jabs, or outright threats — I’ll happily take it and pursue it.

So go ahead. Send me your slurs, your memes, and your attempts at intimidation. I’ll file them, trace them, and maybe even turn them into a teaching moment. You definitely don’t scare me. For heaven’s sake, I have decades of experience under my belt and already go to work every day in a place that has honored a man who believed God’s perfect law in sexuality involves putting me to death.

And if your hate comes to me and spares someone else? That’s the easiest act of queer solidarity I’ll ever perform. Because every minute you spend trying to get under my skin is a minute you’re not going after a queer teenager in a rural town, or a trans student navigating hostile classrooms, or someone who doesn’t have my armor and privilege.

If harassing me keeps you busy, great — consider me your all-you-can-eat buffet of victim. Bon appétit.